Up, down and through
Being comfortably uncomfortable
But first, a brief message…
I’ve always envisioned Art & Life Stirred Vigorously as a free public extension of my written studio journals. I write here with an audience in mind with an aim to share with you some insights into how my art, my thoughts about it and how my life experiences influences everything I make and do as a creative person. My goal is to simply share parts of my studio practice and life with you that you might not get to read or see, otherwise.
I feel that the more people know about what goes on behind the scenes of a creative life, the more they might understand about art, how it’s made, what influences it and so on. This part of my creative life-letting you in on my thoughts, letting see where some of my ideas come from and throwing open the doors to as many aspects of my life as I’m comfortable sharing-is something that I enjoy and I hope it resonates with you on some level. There’s 161(!) of you since August 2023 that seem to enjoy what I’ve been putting out here, so far, and I’m incredibly grateful that you allow me to have some of your time.
With that, I’m committing myself to writing and sharing more long form posts here and experimenting with various ways to share, as well, through voice posts, photo essays and more. Frequency of posts may vary, depending on what else is going on, since my first priority is my work.
In light of this new commitment, I’ve taken the leap and turned on paid subscriptions. My writing here is free for everyone, but if you are so inclined to do so and have the means, consider a donation by way of a paid subscription.
Everything that comes my way goes towards my art practice and enables me to continue sharing the way that I want to. Thank you for spending time here, and now, on to our regularly scheduled program…
- Tim
Delivery daze
This past Monday (10/07), with the help of Matt, an artist who works as a gallery preparator, among other things, I delivered my works to Mercer County Community College (West Windsor Township, New Jersey) for my upcoming show that’s opening next week. Well, we delivered 99% of the proposed works in the show. One of them got left behind due to my shuffling a couple of big paintings around and leaving it hidden behind one. We were already about ten minutes to the destination when I realized what had happened.
In the end, it didn’t matter if that painting was there, because the space was different than I’d anticipated in my brain (I’d only engaged with the floor plan to figure out how many pieces to have in the show). Standing in the actual gallery space was a whole other story. In my head, the space was larger and I was worried about not having enough work to fill it, but I was able to dispel those fears when I was in the space for the first time on Monday.
Not that I like to trade in excuses but, of course, there were maybe three things that I had to take care of at the last minute, just before Matt arrived with the U-Haul. I had to wrap a couple of the larger paintings, rewrap another one and add hanging hardware to the backs of still two more. Thankfully, I gave myself a little time cushion that morning, so I was able to get through it all without panicking, except for forgetting about that lone painting.
The elevator in the building that houses the gallery was very tiny. It’s a miracle we were able to get Matt’s diy dolly full of paintings into it. We got everything in on the diagonal, with barely an inch to spare. If we had to walk something up the stairs, it was only two flights up on a nice, wide institutional staircase, The rest of the delivery went well.
Working the wall
Above: first stages of I Wanted You To Have This
I was going to make more time lapse videos, but once I got into my groove with making these, all bets were off. I didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with any more. At least I have this one.
After making a couple of wall collage installation “studies” in my studio this past spring, I kind of felt like I was done with them. The last one I’d made at the Shipley School back in late 2022, felt like the best of the three I’d made since the first one back in 2019.
The older ones became more volumetric as one came into being. This time around, I thought it might be interesting to see how they could come together as mostly flat pieces. I’d already made three test pieces in the studio this past summer and liked the outcomes.
It’s funny seeing that this is the opposite of what people think of as what’s considered “the natural order of things”. In this case, I would have started with a flat iteration and “progress” to adding more volume. Just another example of how linear thinking doesn’t really apply to art and artists. When I made the first of these pieces, 2019’s You Don’t Know The Whole Thing, I was already into creating volumes with the paper, clear acetate and mylar.
Going with a flat piece this time filled me with excitement over the prospect of making new installations at MCCC. Sure enough, I had a blast. I kind of wish I had more time to tweak small parts of each piece, but overall, I was happy with how they turned out after only 6 hours of work. It’ll be interesting to see what the responses are to the wall works.
One of the best things about this time of year is lower angle of the sun and the cooler temperatures. In the evening, I’m able to catch some great sunsets, while have my window open, uncovered and I’m not sweating.
The past few weeks have been tough mentally and emotionally. Having to scrape together studio rent when sales have been almost non-existent and not finding work can do a number on you. Also, life just keeps steamrolling ahead. It couldn’t care less about any of our concerns in the grand scheme of things.
On the other hand, I’m thoroughly heartened by the vast amount of support that many of you showed when I put out a call for assistance with my studio rent debt recently. So far, I’ve been able to pay off one month’s rent with still two more to go, but part of that weight has been lifted and I sincerely appreciate your help. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
There’s a lot going on in the world, our country and all of our lives and seeing people respond with funds, encouraging words and sharing the post, it all makes a difference. There’s no action that’s too small, everything helps.
Life barrels on regardless of what’s happening anywhere. There’s a lot to do and I’m marshaling as much positive energy as possible to keep things moving and to keep working. Keeping the energy expansive and moving is important. Especially when it feels like the hardest thing to do.
Being still is important, as well. Sometimes, sitting with things is all you can manage. Store up energy for the next go at it.
Reading
I recently started re-reading a couple of books that I’ve had in my library for a looong time. I started reading both about ten years ago-ish(?), stopped for whatever reasons and picked them up again a month ago. I’m just about mid-way through both and this time, I’m captivated enough to keep going and will probably finish both within the next couple of weeks.
I think the long break between reading these is because I have a tendency towards fiction, specifically sci-fi, over non-fiction. The only non-fiction books I flock to are art and artist-related.
I don’t know why I suddenly felt compelled to pick these two up again, but I’m glad that I did. Fast Food Nation was published in 2002 and digs into fast food history and what was going on behind the scenes in the industry at that time. My interest in this came from wanting to know more about an aspect of everyday life that most of us take for granted: ready to eat, highly processed foods and what goes into making it, as well as how the industry has changed how we consume food.
Fast Food Nation caused a huge uproar when it was published. From my short review research on Amazon, it’s still controversial for its topic, how it’s written and for exposing how the fast food industry manipulates foods and their taste, workers, farmers and more to keep profits up and costs down by any means necessary.
None of this is new to me, but I’m still fascinated by how the look, smell and taste of most prepared foods are made and manipulated by simply combining minute amounts of chemicals (natural and otherwise) in labs. We take so much of it for granted that unless one does some research or read a book like this, we don’t think about it, which is the point.
Working: People Talk about What The Do All Day and How They Feel about What They Do by Studs Terkel, is a really fascinating book. First published in 1972, Working introduces us to a wide variety of people whom he interviewed back in the early ‘70s about their jobs and how they feel about them. It’s a brilliant oral history document of the time that captures how people really felt about their occupations, most of them pretty mundane, but necessary for society to keep running.
Nothing has changed over the years, except maybe for how people used language and that components of some of the jobs have changed over time, but are essentially the same. One section focused on the various jobs within an automobile plant in or around Chicago from the assembly men, up to the plant manager and even the union president at the time for that area. It’s interesting seeing these different perspectives in one place broken down by job status, race and age.
There’s a section on bus drivers that got to me because of the obvious changes that were made at a bus depot in Chicago as more Black drivers were hired. Most of the amenities like lockers, pool tables, a lunch area, restroom, etc…were all taken away, leaving these drivers to have to go to a nearby gas station that might not even let them use the restroom there.
In the chapter, “Appearance”, a Chicago barber was lamenting how long-haired men (some hippies, some not) had changed the barbering industry. A funny bit: “A fella’s got a son in college, he’s got long hair, which he’s in style. Here’s the old man, he wants to get long hair. And he’s the average age fella in the fifty age bracket. He wants to look like his son. Now that to me is ridiculous…the fella will come in and he’ll say, “I’m gonna let my hair grow, Sam, because my daughter or my wife…”
The thing about discomfort
I pulled these two paintings out of the racks the other day because someone wanted to see them. I hadn’t looked at them in a while, so it seemed fitting to put them up on the wall to see how I felt a year out from making them.
They still make me feel a bit of discomfort. I mean that with the greatest respect and in the best way possible.
I was just watching this video of Rashid Johnson in his studio speaking about ideas and concepts behind a new body of work. One of the things he talked about was “learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable” and how that can let you know that you’re headed in a right direction, something that comes up a lot for myself in my practice.
The two paintings above give me a very uncomfortable feeling. Uncomfortable in the way that they challenge me to stick with them in this state. There’s a sharpness (danger?) to the forms and color relationships that feel slightly unsettling. They push and prod against my comfort zones in a way that’s destabilizing and exciting at the same time.
That rush that you get from something that insists on making you aware that you’re alive.
[Rewind]: October 13, 2004
I did a quick search through my blog archives searching for anything that I may have written on October 12th from any year. I got close, finding a post from October 13, 2004. The following is from a longer post about questioning things and creativity. This was the last paragraph of that, but it stood out to me, so I’m sharing it here with you.
So why put myself through all of the ups and downs, self doubt and confidence, etc...? I don't know why, I just have to do what I do and I love it. It's that simple. What makes creativity worthwhile for me is knowing that I'm in an active conversation with life and ideas. You can't be passive and be creative, these are mutually exclusive. It just doesn't work. Creativity arises out of passion and for there to be passion means that you have to be engaged in life at some level. Not just thinking about it, but living, feeling, and being it.
Coming soon…
Tim McFarlane.com
Conversations With Artists: Tim McFarlane
Exit
Golden hour in the studio this past week
Took a bit of a break from social media(other than posting my work). But so enjoyed coming here and reading your post! It’s a struggle out here, but your optimism and endurance is inspiring. Thank you for continuing!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you for taking the time to write for us. Your honesty and authenticity shine through both your works and your words. I'm intrigued by the space created in "Deeper Than You'll Ever Know", achieved by glazing and layers of paint (?)